As Summer starts to fade into Fall, peak wedding season is wrapping up here for the year. Just this weekend past I stood as the Maid of Honor (well...the correct term is Matron of Honor because I'm already married, but the term "Matron" makes me feel old - lol) for my sister's wedding. This is the 3rd wedding that I've had the honor of standing in, and I thought that it would be a good idea to pass on my gained knowledge from these experiences. The titles that I've had are: Junior Bridesmaid, Bridesmaid, and Maid of Honor. And, as a side note, I have also co-MC'ed my friends wedding with 2 of my best friends.
Without further delay...Here is what you can expect by agreeing to stand in a wedding:
Leading up to the Wedding:
- Attending bridal shows with the bride and speaking with vendors. This involves taste-testing samples, holding bags, and a small entrance fee for the bridal show itself. Wear comfy shoes, pants with stretch, and have two free hands for holding items for the bride. Usually the event itself, or even a few vendors, have promotional bags that they are handing out. But, it would be a good idea of store a reusable bag in your purse ;). There are typically a lot of draws for free items, or discounts on services at these events. I've seen soon-to-be brides having labels printed with their full name, contact number/email and the date of the wedding just for these opportunities. Otherwise, you should have this information handy to help fill in ballets for these draws.
- Helping to plan the Bridal Shower (A.K.A.: Wedding Shower). This involves finding a venue, planing fun games, helping to cover costs, bringing food (tradition for Newfoundland bridal/baby showers), helping to decorate, inviting guests. The shower usually takes place a few months before the wedding. The range of bridal party involvement here varies based on the amount that the parents of the bride and groom contribute, and the involvement of the bride themselves. While showers are traditionally thrown for the bride, sometimes the bride likes to be in-charge. My advice: Ask what you can do to help, and pitch in as much as you can.
- Dress shopping. It's important that you attend this event if possible. If the bride has not yet chosen the style and color of the dresses, trying on dresses to see how different styles wear on different body types is important. Dress shopping can start a year before the wedding because it does take time to place orders, for the dresses to be made and shipped, and for alterations to be arranged. This is a different experience for each wedding I have stood in: My Junior Bridesmaid dress pattern and style was chosen by the bride, and the dresses were hand-made by a family member. The color of the dresses for the Bridesmaids were chosen by the bride for the second wedding and we went out to shop for the style. And, finally, for the wedding last weekend, the style-family (Dessy) was chosen, as well as the color, and we were asked to choose a dress style that we liked from the style-family. You can expect a minimum of $250 - $350 for your dress. When you place your order you can be expected to pay at minimum a deposit of at least half the cost of your dress. Plan ahead to cover this expense if needed.
- Accessories. It's likely that you will be told what to wear, so be prepared for that. Fully expect a certain shoe color and maybe even style. And a jewelry theme (gold, rose gold, silver, long chain or choker, etc.). Ask the bride what she's wants you to wear before you shop.
- Bachelorette/Stagette party. This is a party that is thrown for the bride by the bridesmaids. Once again, ask the bride for suggestions on what she would like to do for the party. This will happen a little closer to the wedding itself. Your job here is to help decorate, provide food, help cover the expenses, and assist with the overall planning. While the bride is not usually provided with the details of the night prior to party, sometimes they want to be involved. So, just roll with it. It's the brides party and it's important that they have fun.
Week of wedding:
- Rehearsal. Find out how to get to the ceremony location, the time needed to get from where you will be before the rehearsal starts to the location. If your standing, you need to know what your doing during the ceremony and when you need to do it. You'll be told at the rehearsal the cues that you need to look for before walking down the aisle, where to stand, how to angle your stance when you arrive at your mark, when to shuffle (for example: for signing the register). And, if your signing the register as a witness, you will be told when you need to head that way as well. Pay attention.
- Pack your 'day-of' bag. What will you need with you the morning of the wedding? Make a list and pack your bag the night before. The last thing that you want to do is forget something the morning of the wedding because you were half asleep and haven't had your first coffee yet. My list included: Maid of Honor dress, shoes, jewelry, perfume, tooth brush & tooth paste, fancy purse (which contained my ID, cash, debit card, mints, band-aides and my speech), and my Thigh Society shorts (I'm curvy, it's a 27 degree Celsius humid August day, and I'm not wearing a breathable dress. Anti-chafing procedures need to be taken (ha ha ha). If your spending the night away from home, plan for that too.
- Find out what your paying for. Most likely, you will be paying for your hair and make-up application. Ask the bride for the cost of these beforehand. You may have to cover your food/coffee while you get ready before heading to the ceremony. Weddings cost A LOT, so don't expect the bride and groom to cover these costs.
The Day of the wedding:
- Shower, but don't wash your hair. Slightly dirty hair holds curls and up-dos better than freshly washed hair. I usually wet my hair with warm water, but do not shampoo or condition it the morning of the wedding. Make sure that your hair is dry before leaving the house - the hairdressers creating your up-do are not anticipating drying your hair before they start to work their magic.
- Change of outfit. If you are changing from your bridal party dress, or into comfy shoes, after the pictures have been taken, make sure the items that you need are in a car that will be brought to the reception. My changes are usually a comfy pair of dancing shoes and my glasses (14 hours in contact lens can be drying to the eyes).
- Be punctual. Hair and make-up starts early for us girls - the boys get out lucky on this one. It takes time to complete up-dos and full-face, long-lasting, make-up applications. It's going to be a long day and your starting it early. Hit the bed at a decent hour because you need to set an early rise alarm.
- Help were needed. The bride may need calming, tissues or a get-away driver (just kidding!). Dresses may need to be tied or zipped. Coffee may need to be picked up on your way to hair and make-up. Bouquets will need to be held. Dresses will need to be fluffed and staged. This is where you help. You are here to help the Bride and Groom throughout this day.
- Pictures. You will be in a lot of pictures, so check the resting bitch face at the door (lol). Smile, laugh and be positive. Even when the photographer isn't staging a photo, there may be a guest taking random shots of the room, the bridal party, or the cake - and you may be in the background of any of these shots.
After reading all of this, standing in a wedding may seem a little daunting. But, it really is a lot of fun. And, your contribution will mean so much to the bride and groom - many of which spend over a year planing and paying for the entire celebration. I used my planner and my calendar app to help keep me on schedule. Google Maps and Pinterest are also useful throughout planning as well.
The big day will fly by so quickly. So, be patient, be present, and be prepare to celebrate :)
Later Days,
Jen
Without further delay...Here is what you can expect by agreeing to stand in a wedding:
Leading up to the Wedding:
- Attending bridal shows with the bride and speaking with vendors. This involves taste-testing samples, holding bags, and a small entrance fee for the bridal show itself. Wear comfy shoes, pants with stretch, and have two free hands for holding items for the bride. Usually the event itself, or even a few vendors, have promotional bags that they are handing out. But, it would be a good idea of store a reusable bag in your purse ;). There are typically a lot of draws for free items, or discounts on services at these events. I've seen soon-to-be brides having labels printed with their full name, contact number/email and the date of the wedding just for these opportunities. Otherwise, you should have this information handy to help fill in ballets for these draws.
- Helping to plan the Bridal Shower (A.K.A.: Wedding Shower). This involves finding a venue, planing fun games, helping to cover costs, bringing food (tradition for Newfoundland bridal/baby showers), helping to decorate, inviting guests. The shower usually takes place a few months before the wedding. The range of bridal party involvement here varies based on the amount that the parents of the bride and groom contribute, and the involvement of the bride themselves. While showers are traditionally thrown for the bride, sometimes the bride likes to be in-charge. My advice: Ask what you can do to help, and pitch in as much as you can.
- Dress shopping. It's important that you attend this event if possible. If the bride has not yet chosen the style and color of the dresses, trying on dresses to see how different styles wear on different body types is important. Dress shopping can start a year before the wedding because it does take time to place orders, for the dresses to be made and shipped, and for alterations to be arranged. This is a different experience for each wedding I have stood in: My Junior Bridesmaid dress pattern and style was chosen by the bride, and the dresses were hand-made by a family member. The color of the dresses for the Bridesmaids were chosen by the bride for the second wedding and we went out to shop for the style. And, finally, for the wedding last weekend, the style-family (Dessy) was chosen, as well as the color, and we were asked to choose a dress style that we liked from the style-family. You can expect a minimum of $250 - $350 for your dress. When you place your order you can be expected to pay at minimum a deposit of at least half the cost of your dress. Plan ahead to cover this expense if needed.- Accessories. It's likely that you will be told what to wear, so be prepared for that. Fully expect a certain shoe color and maybe even style. And a jewelry theme (gold, rose gold, silver, long chain or choker, etc.). Ask the bride what she's wants you to wear before you shop.
- Bachelorette/Stagette party. This is a party that is thrown for the bride by the bridesmaids. Once again, ask the bride for suggestions on what she would like to do for the party. This will happen a little closer to the wedding itself. Your job here is to help decorate, provide food, help cover the expenses, and assist with the overall planning. While the bride is not usually provided with the details of the night prior to party, sometimes they want to be involved. So, just roll with it. It's the brides party and it's important that they have fun.
Week of wedding:
- Rehearsal. Find out how to get to the ceremony location, the time needed to get from where you will be before the rehearsal starts to the location. If your standing, you need to know what your doing during the ceremony and when you need to do it. You'll be told at the rehearsal the cues that you need to look for before walking down the aisle, where to stand, how to angle your stance when you arrive at your mark, when to shuffle (for example: for signing the register). And, if your signing the register as a witness, you will be told when you need to head that way as well. Pay attention.
- Pack your 'day-of' bag. What will you need with you the morning of the wedding? Make a list and pack your bag the night before. The last thing that you want to do is forget something the morning of the wedding because you were half asleep and haven't had your first coffee yet. My list included: Maid of Honor dress, shoes, jewelry, perfume, tooth brush & tooth paste, fancy purse (which contained my ID, cash, debit card, mints, band-aides and my speech), and my Thigh Society shorts (I'm curvy, it's a 27 degree Celsius humid August day, and I'm not wearing a breathable dress. Anti-chafing procedures need to be taken (ha ha ha). If your spending the night away from home, plan for that too.
- Find out what your paying for. Most likely, you will be paying for your hair and make-up application. Ask the bride for the cost of these beforehand. You may have to cover your food/coffee while you get ready before heading to the ceremony. Weddings cost A LOT, so don't expect the bride and groom to cover these costs.
(My wedding picture from a few years back.
Not much has changed - see purse and backpack)
The Day of the wedding:
- Shower, but don't wash your hair. Slightly dirty hair holds curls and up-dos better than freshly washed hair. I usually wet my hair with warm water, but do not shampoo or condition it the morning of the wedding. Make sure that your hair is dry before leaving the house - the hairdressers creating your up-do are not anticipating drying your hair before they start to work their magic.
- Change of outfit. If you are changing from your bridal party dress, or into comfy shoes, after the pictures have been taken, make sure the items that you need are in a car that will be brought to the reception. My changes are usually a comfy pair of dancing shoes and my glasses (14 hours in contact lens can be drying to the eyes).
- Be punctual. Hair and make-up starts early for us girls - the boys get out lucky on this one. It takes time to complete up-dos and full-face, long-lasting, make-up applications. It's going to be a long day and your starting it early. Hit the bed at a decent hour because you need to set an early rise alarm.
- Help were needed. The bride may need calming, tissues or a get-away driver (just kidding!). Dresses may need to be tied or zipped. Coffee may need to be picked up on your way to hair and make-up. Bouquets will need to be held. Dresses will need to be fluffed and staged. This is where you help. You are here to help the Bride and Groom throughout this day.
- Pictures. You will be in a lot of pictures, so check the resting bitch face at the door (lol). Smile, laugh and be positive. Even when the photographer isn't staging a photo, there may be a guest taking random shots of the room, the bridal party, or the cake - and you may be in the background of any of these shots.
After reading all of this, standing in a wedding may seem a little daunting. But, it really is a lot of fun. And, your contribution will mean so much to the bride and groom - many of which spend over a year planing and paying for the entire celebration. I used my planner and my calendar app to help keep me on schedule. Google Maps and Pinterest are also useful throughout planning as well.
The big day will fly by so quickly. So, be patient, be present, and be prepare to celebrate :)
Later Days,
Jen
Sounds soo much fun !!
ReplyDeleteOh yes - it certainly is!! So much planning for one amazing day that rushes by so quickly.
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